Kid McGuire. Artist. Doofus.

Kid McGuire was born in Poverty. At three, he moved to Chicago where he entered the family Vaudeville act. The act was known as "The Swansons" and Kid played the part of "little Nora" in the act until his voice changed.

Critics have always had trouble categorizing Kid's œuvre. His artwork has also been difficult to figure out. Is it part of Seurat's "Pointlessism"? Or should it more properly be understood as the "last gasp" of the "amortization" movement?

Most of the paintings displayed here were painted inside a darkened closet. This explains why only a few of the lines are straight.

McGuire sees these paintings as a first part of what he impishly calls his "trilogy." When completed, his collected works will be shown at the Guggenheim in an exhibition to be entitled: "KID MCGUIRE: THE YEARS ALONE WITH POOR HYGIENE."

The Kid's art has often confused the experts. One early observer went so far as to say, "The paintings from McGuire's 'dark period' are way dark."

when i see mcguire's stuff, i'm, like, OMG!!! it makes me LOL when i TGIF and just before i go to SLEEP!!!" Kaitlin Mallory, in Teen Magazine.

"McGuire is quite the little poseur." Lance Ito, in Brush to Judgment.

"He burst on the scene." I.M. Paid, in Architecture?

"I love his dinosaur paintings." Bill "Opportunity" Knox in The Early Salacious Quarterly.

"I do all my paintings in the nude. This imparts an unusual vulnerability to my work. I am especially vulnerable when painting this way in the winter."

"I destroy all my paintings every year ('deconstruction'). I find that this is the only way I can gain 'artistic renewal.' Storage is also a problem."

"I traveled extensively in Europe in the 1950s, where I was struck by baroque sculpture."

"Not many people know that I invented the phrase 'Please be kind -- REWIND.' "

"Would you like fries with that?"

"If I'm smart, how come I'm not rich?"

"Why does the other line always move quicker?"

"Are we there yet?"